Mid-Term Election Day 2010

Figuratively speaking, of course.

Where we're going... we don't need electricity...

... but we will need plenty of gas.

Car and Driver recently tested and reviewed the production version of the 2011 Chevrolet Volt (the much-heralded electric car Obama will pay you to own).  And, although they had lots of good things to say about it, the kind folks at Investors Business Daily couldn't help but notice some incongruity between the hype and the reality. 

Here are some of the highlights from their article entitled Volt Fraud at Government Motors:

Volt engineers are now admitting that when the vehicle's lithium-ion battery pack runs down and at speeds near or above 70 mph, the Volt's gasoline engine will directly drive the front wheels along with the electric motors. That's not charging the battery — that's driving the car.

I guess when your "all-electric" car requires a gasoline engine to power the wheels, you shouldn't be surprised when you're called a fraud.

We heard GM's then-CEO Fritz Henderson claim the Volt would get 230 miles per gallon in city conditions. Popular Mechanics found the Volt to get about 37.5 mpg in city driving

And 26 mpg on the highway-- I'm sure that was an honest mistake.

This is what happens when government picks winners and losers in the marketplace and tries to run a business. We are not told that we will be dependent on foreign sources like Bolivia for the lithium to be used in these batteries. Nor are we told about the possible dangers to rescuers and occupants in an accident scenario.

The First Amendment: a refresher

Protected Speech

Hate Speech

 

Any questions?

Paper or E. Coli?

Relevant at 6:35

   

We Yummy Foggots love getting together and philosophizing about the ironies of the Enviro-Elitist movement.  Make no mistakes, though, for the most part we are as Pro-Conservation as can be, but where the line is drawn between Conservation (good) and Environmentalism (silly) is fodder for another post entirely.

Nearly as entertaining as the electric car that creates more waste than simply buying a used gas clunker (a future Mountainman Manifesto) is the reusable grocery bag.

Now, it is one thing if some old lady wants to put her bread in her Reader's Digest tote from 1983, but the real problem is the same problem we always have with Enviro-Elitists.  The problem is that them doing it isn't good enough, they want to force others to obey their rules, or face the wrath of guilt illustrated in the above video.

Some cities have even proposed bans and/or taxes on the traditional paper or plastic disposable grocery bags.  I always thought that the paper and plastic grocery bags were reusable... just in different ways.  My old grocery bags are living fruitful second lives as trash bag liners in my bathroom and office, as a lunchbox to work, as a personal rain shield, or as a catch-all for collections of smaller items-- be it beer cans or magic markers.

I always thought the REALLY great thing about paper and plastic (I refuse to call them disposable, because I keep them for later usage) grocery bags is that I don't have to remember to take them to the store with me.

For Relaxing Times...

Join me in reading the most relaxing advertisement ever. It's almost as if Morgan Freeman were lulling me to sleep with evening entertainment advice.



Also check out Sean Connery selling Japanese whisky. Yes, he drinks it on camera.

It Is Our Fault....Well, Your Fault

Why do people have to try and ruin everything?  The jackass pictured above is currently trying to get off the hook for murdering his little brother by blaming it on one of the best shows on television, Dexter.  This has happened over and over again in the past.  People blame their acts on video games, movies, music, hell, even the Power Rangers have had their share. 

The problem isn't the shows or the games.  It isn't the portrayal of violence or the glorified aggression.  The problem is society's acceptance of these excuses as valid.  We allow psychologists to make shit up and we accept it as a professional diagnosis when in reality they are just trying to justify their jobs.  Case and point:  ADD isn't real.  It is made up to employ psychologists, to sell medication, and to allow schools to have poor students not counted on standardized tests.  How many young children have razor-sharp focus?  How many adults for that matter?

Until society stands up and says, "Sex addiction? Shut the F&$* up.  Sounds more like self-control un-addiction" we will be stuck in this cycle of being forced to accept lame-o excuses for the most heinous acts.  So, if you see that little ginger pictured above, a child with ADD, or a psychologist, do America a big favor and punch them in the face.  It is a win-win for you, because if you get caught you can just blame this post.

There Oughta Be a Law.

The first 10 seconds are what's important here:

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps - International Trailer - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Nothing against this movie, or this trailer.  In fact, I think the trailers for this movie are really quite nice.  They make me second guess myself for planning on skipping it.

But, let's listen to that line again,

"Someone reminded me I once said, Greed is good! Now it seems it's legal..."

Wait just a second there, you poorly named fictional character-- Greed has never been illegal (by American law).  This is just stupid.

Who writes this stuff?....

... oh yeah.  This guy:

"I'm a jew-hating, communist, propagandizing hack!"

Oops, he... did it again!

Fight Fire With Fire

Florida pastor, Terry Jones, wants everybody to remember the 9th anniversary of the attacks of 9/11 by burning the Quran (or Koran, or whatever).  And, although I can understand his sentiment, I think he is misguided.  But, I don't think he is nearly as misguided as his critics.

The media is collectively exasperated at this heinous plan.  They are frightened of provoking Islamic extremists (although they usually act as if "Radical Islam" doesn't exist).  Even the U.S. Commander in Afghanistan, General David Petraeus, decided to chime in.

“[Images of the burning] would be used by those who wish us ill, to incite violence and to enflame public opinion against us and against our mission here in Afghanistan"

Do you know what I have to say to these people who would like to suspend a man's Constitutional right to Freedom of Speech (not to mention Freedom of Religion) based on the fact that they are fearful it might be too provocative for Muslims around the world?...

A Picture is Worth 1000 Words

Riding a bicycle is never cool. If you don't believe me, just look at the hero of the bike-riding world: an ambiguously gay corporate shill with only one testicle.

That fact aside, one of the U.S. Presidents pictured above looks decidedly more capable on his two-wheeler than the other one.  I'll let you decide which.

(Post-Script: Yes, I do think wrecking your bicycle face-first earns you extra man points.  Because, I'm the judge of such things.)

Guess who's back.

I move to canonize Governor Chris Christie as the 1st Patron Saint of Yummy Fog.

Kicking Off Ramadaan In Style

On August 3rd, 2010, White House Press Secretary (for now) Robert Gibbs was asked about the Obama Administration's stance on the controversial mosque being proposed within rifle-range of Ground Zero.  At that time, Gibbs said

" I’m not from here going to get involved in local decision-making like that."

Aside from being comically ironic, considering the President has involved himself in local decision-making plenty of times so far (like this time... and this time) with astounding effect, it seemed obvious that the White House was going to try to duck-and-cover on this sensitive issue.

That is, it seemed that way until Friday night.

According to the President, people are sensitive to this because they are traumatized by 9/11 (no shit).  But, his implication is that the trauma involved somehow makes the opposition to the location of the mosque unwarranted.

His words, before a group of hungry Muslims, went on to shed light on his reasoning behind this stance.  Well, his reasons beyond that he is an Islamic sympathizer, of course.

"Let me be clear: as a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country".

I don't think anybody disagrees there.  Please continue, Mr. President.

"That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances".

And this is where--after much personal careful deliberation-- I do disagree.  Careful deliberation and the United States Constitution.  This amazing document pretty well covers all the important stuff, and it is very clear on this:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

You see, because New York City has already 100 mosques throughout the city, there is no impediment on Islamic worship.  In fact, nobody is saying that can't build a giant mosque, just that they cannot build a giant mosque THERE.

SuperChristie Will Punch You

This video is from June 6, 2010.  I don't know how I've missed it until today.



This guy was born to lead in this modern age of tumultuous politics.  It is funny to hear that he shys away from the "conservative" tag.  I can see why.

It seems that Governor Christie acts on his convictions based on what is best for his constituency while being less interested in categorizations or media-interpretations.  His thoughts on conservatism are moot, however, because he is definitely doing things the right way-- saying what he means, and doing what he says.

He is a mythical creature come to life-- the effective and decisive politician-of-the-people.

(Click here for a great brief biography of Governor Chris Christie's young political career.)

T.G.Y.F.

A lot has been going on this week... more so than other weeks.  So, let's run down a few of the choicest cuts leading into the weekend:

• The Dems Must Be Shady
  Two old-school Democrat lawmakers, Maxine Waters and Charlie Rangel are both up on ethics charges.  (But their constituents have been dumb enough to elect them this long, I'm guessing it won't effect future elections for either).  Meanwhile, John Kerry tried to hide his new yacht in Rhode Island to avoid taxes in his home state of Massachusetts.
  
  We can only imagine the shit-storm this would kick up if it were a bunch of Republicans behaving so badly, but we all know why it isn't*
  
  
• If You Can't Beat Them...
  Speaking of shady Democrat tactics, this story was harder to find than it should be*. Democrat patsies on the ground (who are surely the lowest forms of life in America today) have taken to petitioning for Tea Party candidates, so as to get a third party on the ballot that will split the Conservative electorate. 
  
  They tried calling the Tea Party small and irrelevant.  Then they tried calling them crazy and white.  Then they tried calling them racist and violent.  And, since none of that has proven true, they will resort to old chicanery.
  
  
• Missouri is Great
  You may not have heard*, but on Tuesday, the citizens of the Show-Me State spoke loudly about the government's new Health Care Law by voting overwhelmingly to
  
  
  

  - Deny the government authority to penalize citizens for refusing to purchase private health insurance or infringe upon the right to offer or accept direct payment for lawful healthcare services?
  - Modify laws regarding the liquidation of certain domestic insurance companies?

  What did White House press secretary Robert Gibbs think this 3 to 1 decision by Missouri voters meant for the country and President Barack Obama's administration?
  
  
  

  "Nothing."
  and also the vote has, "no legal significance" 

  
  
•  Voting Has No Legal SignificanceAs long as judges continue to legislative from the bench, the voices of Americans will continue to be extinguished with the help of the ruling political class and their minions*.  Robert Gibbs and Barack Obama know this.  And the only people who know it better than the two of them, are the 7,000,000 voters who had their votes canceled by 1 gay judge, when he overturned California's Proposition 8.
  
  
• One of YF's Favorite Malcontents
  Christopher Hitchens has cancer.  He wrote about it in Vanity Fair recently, in his own special way.  Arguably the world's most famous atheists, he says he's astonished at the number of people praying for his health.  I guess that is a pretty good illustration of his lack of understanding of Christianity, in my opinion.

*compliant media

A Dangerous Precedent.....Sort of

History has shown, whether right or wrong, that judges in the United States often will use foreign law and decisions to help determine their opinion in cases.  There are the more famous cases for which it applies like the Supreme Court case Roper v. Simmons where international opinion played a huge part in the decision on the death penalty for juveniles.  Then, there are the less famous decisions....such as whether or not to allow prosecution of a case or just to throw it out of court.  These decisions are often overlooked when analyzing the US Justice system, but for those involved it makes a huge difference.

The reason I bring this up is because a man was recently convicted of rape in Israel for a consensual encounter. See, what happened was this guy (who was an Arab) told some chick (who was a Jew) that he was Jewish.  So, they went to some building nearby and, uh, banged out their differences.  Apparently though, the lady was none too happy when she found out the guy was not Jewish.  She then pressed rape charges and the man was eventually convicted, even though the judge and jury believed the sexual encounter to be completely consensual.  The charge was "Rape by Deception" and he will serve 18 months in prison. Apparently, the decision was based on the fact that the judges "acknowledged that sex had been consensual but said that although not "a classical rape by force," the woman would not have consented if she had not believed Kashur was Jewish".  Luckily for the guy, the initial charge of "rape and indecent assault" was dropped in a sort of plea deal.

So, there it is.  A man was convicted of rape because he had consensual sex.  This precedent, if it ever shows it's face in the United States, will have a profound effect on millions of young men.  If lying about your religion can get you put in jail, how about lying about your age?  Your income?  Your living at home with your parents?  What if you tell her that you have a "A Doctorate in Awesomeness", but you fail to get in her pants...is that attempted rape? 

Ideally the Justice system in the United States would stop seeking guidance from other nations when it comes to applying our law, but as long as they do it is our responsibility to inject our opinion of foreign decisions since it may soon apply to us. 

Next time some stinky foreigner asks why Americans butt into their country's business, look at them with an endearing smile and tell them, "Well dipshit, it is because we apparently care about your opinion."

It's not a complaint as much as an observation...

2000-2008

2008-2010

It isn't asking too much when you are simply asking for more than just Fred Armisen, is it?

Kagan Exercise

The confirmation hearings for Elena Kagan began today.  The Democrats have enough votes to confirm her to the Supreme Court, but the hearings will go on as a formality.

Last April, I pointed out that President Barack Obama voted against both of President Bush's Supreme Court nominations as a Senator (Alito and Roberts... who were both confirmed, of course).

As Rush Limbaugh lovingly reminded his audience today, Barack Obama in 2008 also said he would've voted against confirming Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court.  Based on what?-- lack of experience, of course:



So, I thought a quick comparison of 2 resumes would prove informative...

Let's make that jobless number fifteen million... and ONE.

Last Monday, General Stanley McChrystal, the commander of all U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan, called up Joe Biden and apologized.  He was apologizing for comments his men made in the presence of a Rolling Stones skunk journalist that would be appearing later in the week.  At that time, the Vice President had no clue what Gen. McChrystal was apologizing for... but, today, the General was fired.

Well, if a Rolling Stone article can get the a General fired, it must have had some pretty damning stuff in it, right?
As the Wall Street Journal puts it, General McChrystal and his men "casually mocked the vice president as a nobody, National Security Adviser James Jones as a 'clown' and the president himself as uncomfortable with military leaders and initially unengaged on defense policy."

If you read the article, you'll be surprised by 2 things.  First, almost none of the most salacious quotes are from McChrystal himself, but from men around him.  And, second, the most salacious stuff  reads like this:

"Biden?" suggests a top adviser. "Did you say: Bite Me?"

 According to sources familiar with the meeting, McChrystal thought Obama looked "uncomfortable and intimidated" by the roomful of military brass.

The quotes from the General himself go more like this:

Observing his team. "All these men," he tells me. "I'd die for them. And they'd die for me."

You should really read the article yourself.  I'm sure the writer was disgusted by how men talk, and expected he was exposing something.  But, to service men and women, this will all seem very tame.  Hell, from anybody who spent time in a little league dugout, this will seem pretty tame.  But, I digress...

The World Cup of soccer

I watched the England v. USA soccer game. . . match last Friday. I am trying to get into the whole World Cup thing. I don't have anything against soccer. It is a fine game, it just doesn't hold a candle to football/baseball/(non-NBA) basketball/wrasslin'.

I enjoyed the game, mainly I think, because of the energy of the crowd and the possibility of hooliganism from the players. Also, I respect, with all of the integrity at my command, the fantastic shape each player is in.

I may enjoy the game more if I knew what the shit was going on. I don't get yellow cards, "extra time", "off sides", or a lot of other things that foreign, dirt babies learn before they exit the womb.

Related: The Onion just won the internet.


Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Why is the world so madly in love with "football"? (Earth translation: soccer) It seems all non-Americans would give their first born to be able to play in 1 World Cup match. Their toddlers learn to run before they can successfully manipulate their fingers since they have been playing soccer from the first possible instant. It smacks of Catholicism: people from poor countries are born into it and forced to like it.

Why is America so madly indifferent with soccer? Because we didn't grow up on ant hills. By winning the cosmic lottery, we were born in a land where we can choose to play any sport or any number of sports. Your kid wants to play football? Sign him up for Pop Warner. Your kid wants to shoot clay pigeons? Buy him a shotgun. That kid from Ghana wants to compete in the snowboard half-pipe at the X Games? Too freaking bad. Here is a ball, pretend it is a soccer ball. Here is 1000 acres of undeveloped land, pretend it is a soccer pitch. Here are 3 trash cans and a tiki torch, make them into goals.

Now. . . play soccer.

Conspiracy Theories: When the Obvious Truth is Just too Hurtful

 I recently saw a status update on facebook that said, "For those yall supporting Alvin Greene you need to wise up.  You just hurting the cause of the black man."

I laughed pretty hard at first, but then it got me thinking about the whole situation out there in South Carolina.  So, if you are not aware of the controversy, what happened was some no-name gentleman decided to run for the South Carolina US Senate seat in the Democratic primary.  With no money, and hardly any advertisements, Alvin Greene won the primary and is now on the South Carolina ticket for November elections.

Not so controversial yet, I know...but wait.  Within two days of his primary victory he was asked to withdraw by every Democrat in the state pretty much, since he is facing felony charges for showing, uh, inappropriate pictures to some college girl.  It was at this point the conspiracy theories began to fly.

"He is a Republican Plant!" they scream.  "He didn't pay his fees!" "He accepted unauthorized monies!"

Yeah, yeah.   We hear ya.  Want to hear the truth though?  Alvin Greene is a black man, who was running for office against an old white guy in the state with the highest percentage of African Americans in the Union. 

No conspiracy theories needed.  When will these people realize that 97% of citizens know absolutely nothing about the people they vote for other than what they look like, and what their name is?  The populace is retarded.  Well, most of them are.  This is especially true when it comes to politics.

Case and point:




(P.S.  I am not a big Michael Savage fan, but I have to admit he does crack me up once in a blue moon)



SUPER AWESOME UPDATE:

Apparently, this same lady has also called Rush.  The sound and video quality isn't great so here is the transcript.

And the video....

Waiting for November...

My brain is in a holding pattern.

It's difficult to "live in the now", right now. I don't find it thearapeutic to recall and/or dwell upon;

the bailouts, which were an undeniable debacle...

followed by the ham-fisted mishandling of the Chrysler/GM bankruptcies...

followed by the astonomically expensive, yet infinitesimally effective 'stimulus' package...

and capped by the mother of ham-fisted, expensive, government debacles; the passing of ObamaCare.

This current political funk is further exasperated by the general misunderstanding and/or misrepresentations of Rand Paul's statements in regards to a specific aspect of the Civil Rights Act. (Essentially, the question is, 'Should the Federal Government prohibit private businesses from discriminating against customers on the basis of race?')

Rand Paul and the libertarian's contention is, no. The government should not intervene to that degree into private business's business.

Paul is in a camp that views the question as broken down into a more general ideology of, "Should the Federal Government prohibit private businesses from doing something?"

Whereas the other side views the question as, "Shouldn't the Federal government do as much as it can to stop bad things from happening?"

The media and seemingly the general public's general characterization of some of the basic tenents of libertarianism demonstrate how far the pendulum has swung in the direction of government intervention.

Which is disheartening.

Chris Christie for Dictator

It is a short clip and absolutely worth watching. This lady thought she was scoring points and then she gets destroyed. Its domination.

GORGEOUS EVENT:


GORGEOUS METAPHOR:


P.S.- Bruce Springsteen sucks.

A Walking Contradicteration

As President Barack Obama geared up for his first full press conference in 304 days, I wondered if he'd give long rambling answers in order to minimize the number of questions. I wondered if he'd... uhh... ummm... use lots of fillers when off-script. And, I wondered if he'd continue to blame George W. Bush for all his recent troubles.

Lucky for me, BHO never disappoints.

Other highlights from today's rare question-and-answer with the media:

• The President isn't "contradictering" himself (skip to the 9:05 mark of the video).
• The President offered his solution for failed bureaucracy: different bureaucracy.  Slightly contradicterive, I'd say.
• Like his Press Secretary, the President wants nothing to do with answering questions about the Sestak Situation.  Contradictering his vow for "the most transparent White House ever".
• The President claims "the federal government is fully engaged," in the BP oil spill. "I am fully engaged."
  But, in the same conference, he also claims, he doesn't know "the circumstances" of  the dismissal of the head of the Mineral Management Service. 
  
  That, too, sounds like he is contradictering himself.

Brain Farts

(warning: cartoon is unrelated to post)

* Oil.
Lots of politicians and media-types are obsessed with focusing blame on BP.  And, don't get it twisted, I think the cost of clean-up is their's and their's alone... but what do these people think BP's motivations are?

I think BP is motivated by making money by selling oil.  So, if they are losing oil, and spending money trying and failing to clean it up, all while giving themselves a name forever tarnished with this incident, what could they be possibly have to gain?

** Mexicans.
Mexico's President, Felipe Calderon, showed up in Washington D.C. to bad mouth a U.S. State law (Arizona's improved illegal immigration bill).  Instead of having rotten fruit thrown at him, American Congressmen stood in applause.  They even had cute little bracelets made aggreeing with him.

Opinions of the law aside.  I fear for the state of things when ANY outsider-- no matter their title or commentary-- can address a joint session of Congress and slander one of America's 50 states.  It's not just appauling... it is downright weird.

*** High Crimes & Misdemeanors
The Obama White House offered Joe Sestak a new job if he dropped out of his primary race against Arlen Specter.  He didn't take the job, but he did win the primary.  And, although Sestak's bribery admission happened in February, it is still getting a lot less play than I'd like.

The media is allowing Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to bob-and-weave his way out of "transparency" with clever misdirections like:

Hello from my cell phone.

A homeless guy asked me for some money a few minutes ago to which I replied "Sorry, but I work for my money".
The homeless guy responded, "But I don't have a job!"

"Thats because your lazy ass just sits in front of this gas station," says me.


Moral of the story...homeless people get angry easily.

Supreme Donor

President Barack Obama has nominated Elena Kagan as the next Justice of the United States Supreme Court.  She hasn't been a judge before, which isn't a bad thing.  Her resume' includes a nice stint as the Dean of Harvard Law School.

(Her most remarkable moment there, in the eyes of the national media, was when she attempted to disallow military recruiting on her campus because of the "moral injustice" of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.  President Bush appealed to the Supreme Court, and Harvard and other law schools lost the decision 8-0.)

I digress.  A continued look at Kagan's resume' reveals her last "job" before being appointed by President Obama as Solicitor General was as member of the Research Advisory Council of the Goldman Sachs Global Markets Institute.

Hmmm... it seems there was some other place I saw both Harvard and Goldman Sachs listed... where was that list again...

I Hate Liars.

US Taxpayer money given to GM: $62,900,000,000.
Official Bailout amount: $49,500,000,000.
Actual loan amount: $6,700,000,000.
Amount GM has payed back: $6,700,000,000.

Amount of GM money used to pay it back: $0.
Amount of taxpayer money used to repay the loan: $6,700,000,000.

GM used taxpayer money to repay taxpayer loans, and now they are touting it as the comeback of a company.

It is funny to me when liberal financial tricks come to the light of day.  What is not funny is that it their attempt at sneakiness cost us, the taxpayer, a total of $62,900,000,000 which could have bought us nearly 3 million new Impalas.  That breaks down to about $600 from each of us.  Thanks dicks.

la gran idea

As we all know by now, Arizona has amended their existing immigration laws to include this sort of insidious language:

FOR ANY LAWFUL CONTACT MADE BY A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE WHERE REASONABLE SUSPICION EXISTS THAT THE PERSON IS AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES, A REASONABLE ATTEMPT SHALL BE MADE, WHEN PRACTICABLE, TO DETERMINE THE IMMIGRATION STATUS OF THE PERSON.

With stuff like "lawful contact" and "reasonable attempt" and "practicable", it is no wonder that angry mobs have taken to the streets to protest and throw trash at police officers.

This is the first such instance of riotous mobs on American soil I can think of... in like... I dunno, 17 months or so. And these angry organizers say there are more to come.  On May 1st, 2010, opponents of the new Arizona law intend to protest with a unified march on 70 different cities! This is how I thought up la gran idea...

Environmentalism at Work

Brain Farts

1.   Matt Groening did something funny for the first time since the Futurama movies.

2.  The Majority of economists believe the Stimulus package and jobs bill did absolutely nothing to help improve the economy.  Proof.

In related news, Mr. Obama's work history:
                 a) Weed Salesman
                 b) Community Organizer
                 c) Civil Rights Lawyer
                 d) State Senator
                 e) US Senator
                 f) President of the US

....In more related news, I have held more jobs than that and I am 27.

.............In even more related news, Tim Geitner has NEVER held a real job.  Straight from the Horse's mouth.

3.   I just bought a Motorola Backflip.  Welcome to the smartphone world me.

4.   Some guy claimed that Senator Lindsay Graham was gay. 

In related news....

Q: You Know What is Great about North Carolina?

A:1. The revenue from their lottery goes to education! (snicker, snicker)
A:2. This scratcher game:

A:3. Fresh Copenhagen. It satisfies. (Since 1822)

Dear Comedy Central,

Apparently you enjoy kowtowing to reactionary retards.  It seems that the South Park guys were none too happy about it either.  In honor of your being giant vaginas, I found a picture of what you censored in last night's episode.  I will post it here so you don't have to be held responsible.

Ladies and Gentlemen!  I give you....the Prophet Muhammad!

(UPDATE- after the jump!)

AQ-Iraq Leaders = Dead

from The Washington Post


If Al-Qaeda was never in Iraq, how could its leaders be there in order to be wiped out?

"Iraq is blood for oil! Iraq didn't attack us 9/11!"

UPDATE: Third formerly non-existent guy dies.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iraq/7611699/Third-Iraq-al-Qaeda-leader-killed.html

Sorry to bump Ferociously Aloof's incredible post but....

You guys have to see this.

Oh, and if you are wondering about the Larry Sinclair part...try this link for an explanation.  Or maybe this one.

Conversations With An Honest, Yet Imaginary, Congressional Democrat

Question Asker Guy: Thank you for being here Mr. Imaginary Congressman from AnyState

Honest Imaginary Congressman: According to my official "Obama's Blind Lackey Guidebook" I'm to now begin my spiel about how we saved America from the Evil Insurance Companies. Did you know that an Evil Insurance Company attempted to deny coverage to some poor guy with HIV and then...

QAG: Is this the story about the Insurance company in South Carolina that was sued by the guy with HIV and then the Insurance Company had to pay the guy 10 million dollars?

HIC: I don't know. Maybe. My point being, Insurance Company's are evil and I hate them and so should you.

QAG: So as you see it, insurance companies are the problem?

HIC: No, even though insurance companies are evil and I hate them and so should you. The thing that makes me the most sad is the anywhere from 5 to 100 million people in the United States who are currently uninsured. That's really why we passed this Health Care Reform Bill.

QAG: Did you say, "anywhere from 5 to 100 million... uninsured."?

HIC: Yeah, it's fun to throw out meaningless numbers.

QAG: Do you actually know how many people living in the United States are currently without health insurance?

The US Punishes the Honest, Law Abiders

Yesterday night my wife's Aunt, Uncle and two cousins legally immigrated to the United States.  Even though I could tell they were a bit scared, being thousands of miles from their home while leaving all they had and all they knew behind, I could see the excitement and wonder in their eyes.  I asked her cousin if he was excited and he smiled from ear to ear and said, "Oh yes!".  It made me feel really good that our country can provide that opportunity for people, but it also tore me up a bit.  Here is why.

So, my in-laws petitioned for their immigration.  Do you know how long it took for them to get here?  26 years.  It took 26 years for them to arrive.  It took so long, in fact, that some of their children (none of whom had been born when the petition was filed) were too old to be included and had to stay.  This is outrageous.

We allow millions of illegal immigrants to come in every year without getting in trouble.  Hell, if their family had come to the US illegally, they would have been granted amnesty already.  Not only that, but all of their children would have been legal US citizens regardless of their parents status since they would have been born here.  So, by breaking the law they would have been rewarded multiple times.

Something is seriously wrong with our system that it takes that long to immigrate legally.  It is even more wrong that we reward illegal immigrants with drivers licenses, health care, welfare, and other public funds.

We have to clamp down on our borders, and we have to stream line legal immigration processes.   The end.

Oops!... He did it again.

"If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy."

George W. Bush

Gnome Enthusiast Update:

I wonder where he learned it?

Supreme Perspective

This week, Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens announced his upcoming retirement from the highest court in the land.  This will surely set off a too-long, and much-debated selection process for his replacement.

As cliche' as it is, this is the cost of elections.  I'd like to see Republican officials respect the separation of powers included in the Constitution, and confirm the President's appointee.  But, I'd also like to see these same Congressman vet this (surely "progressive" and half-mongoloid) appointee thoroughly and publically. 

Democrat Congress bones all of us

Hey, look, a graph:

Cash For Clunkers boned all of us

I steal from AmericanThinker.com. I like their graph of the day.

Cost to taxpayers for each extra car sold because of Cash for Clunkers: $20,000
Number of 'clunkers' turned in (and taken out of the market): 677,081
Price increase of used used cars since CfC: 13.7%
Change in car sales from July 2009 to February 2010: -0.6%

As you can see, when the government steps in to fix a problem, even if there isn't really a problem, everyone loses.

Subsidizing Everyone and Their Mothers

Project Prevention is a charity that uses donations to pay for drug addicts to get sterilized. According to their website they offer "cash incentives to women that are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol to use long-term or permanent birth control."

The reason I bring this up is not to argue whether Project Prevention is correct or not.  That is for you to decide.  I bring it up because they are now offering their services in England, which gives us an idea of what it will soon be like here with the new health care law.  See, since England has socialized health care, Project Prevention doesn't pay for the operation.  They pay drug addicts cash money to utilize public funds for their operation.

That is what will be happening in the United States soon.  I am willing to bet that most hardcore addicts in the US do not pay any taxes.  Soon, we will not only be paying for these people's health insurance, but with the help of charities like Project Prevention, we will be subsidizing operations while the non-tax paying addict makes money.  

Being a charity, Project Prevention also pays no taxes, the money the addicts make will not be taxed, and if you read my previous post you will know that the addict probably not only gets a paycheck from the government for welfare and foodstamps, but also makes money come tax time every year.  We are essentially subsidizing the person's entire life, while charities are encouraging them with cash to spend even more of our money.

So, like I said....you can choose whether the ideals behind Project Prevention are good or bad, but their methods cannot be justified by anyone.

Beware the Ides of March!

Tax day approaches, and though it is not on the traditional day of March 15th anymore, the extra month the government gives us doesn't really make a difference.  What is that saying about life...ah yes, "The only certain things in life are death and taxes."

Well, as it turns out, that is not true for quite a few Americans.  According to the Tax Research Center 47% of people will pay no taxes for 2009. In fact they state:

"The bottom 40 percent, on average, make a profit from the federal income tax, meaning they get more money in tax credits than they would otherwise owe in taxes. For those people, the government sends them a payment."

This is ridiculous.  I know I got gouged for thousands of dollars in taxes even while being laid off for 4 months of the year.  Who are these people?  We essentially have a wealth redistribution system in which the top 10% of earners give money to the lower 50% with the big bad government acting as the middle man. These people are getting a paycheck for doing nothing.  They are being rewarded for underachieving while those who are successful are being punished in excess.

The US Tax code is roughly 17,000 pages.  Hell, the instructions on how to fill out your tax form are 305 pages long.  All those pages add up to a $12,600,000,000 budget for the IRS.  That is about $50 from every man woman and child in the country.  Well, actually, since most people don't pay any taxes the ones who do are charged extra to support the people who take their money.  Awesome.
 
You want a solution that will save taxpayers billions and restore economic freedom to all Americans?

Flat tax.

Flat tax!

FLAT TAX!

If You Feel Like It, Help Stop These Idiots

Today I made the first charitable donation of my life.  Well, the first where I actually sought someone out to give them money.  For those who are unaware, Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder was killed in Iraq in a vehicle accident.  During his funeral the retards from the Westboro Baptist Church showed up with signs like you see above.  The devastated family was hurt even worse by this and sued the church for damages. 

Well, after an appeal the Snyder family lost their case.  Not only did they lose, but they were ordered by a judge to pay the church that is cheering the deaths of US Servicemen a total of $16,500. 

Even though Bill O'Reily has pledged to pay the money for the family, they need legal fees to take their case to the Supreme Court.  Any extra money will go towards scholarships for soldiers and marines.

Anyways, I was outraged and if you feel like helping out the website is http://matthewsnyder.org/.


P.S. This is not a solicitation, I really did donate some money today.  Someone needs to put a stop to these idiots.   I like to think I helped just a bit.

I'm not buying this. (UPDATE!)

(I'm certain whoever wrote this was SURE that the missing "t" in "extremism" would leave no doubt it was thrown by a violent Tea Partier.)

I hesitate to enter into "conspiracy theory" territory, but all I've heard for two days is how Democratic congressmen who voted for Obamacare are allegedly being threatened, having windows smashed, having coffins placed near their homes, and having brothers' outdoor gas lines viciously attacked.

You know what?  I'm not buying it.  Mostly because I'm normally a skeptic, but also because of the post-Obamacare distraction timing, the pre-packaged response of the Dems, and the constant anonymity of the assailants.

This all started when Nancy Pelosi tempted all the protesters on her way to the health care vote (giant gavel in hand).  There are videos of her smug march all over the internet, and despite not a single audible slur being spoken, the Dems still claim both racial and homosexual epithets were hurled their way.  I'm sure Nancy & Co. were pretty disappointed they had to make this story up. 

Until there is video evidence or a conviction in any of these cases, I'm going to continue to assume this is all a farce.

(UPDATE: ARREST MADE!)

Energy Star CERTIFIED.

Energy Star is a is a joint program of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the U.S. Department of Energy "helping us all save money and protect the environment through energy efficient products and practices".  Despite news to the contrary, they are a self-proclaimed "overwhelming success".

The New York Times is reporting that a secret Congressional audit has uncovered evidence that Energy Star's methods of certifying products as energy efficient and environmentally friendly are... well... sort of crappy.

The only surprising part of this story is that the Government attempted some oversight of one of its own fatty appendages.

I Say Stop Settling.....Take It All!

For a long time Israel has been what most would consider a friendly country to the United States.  With the current administration's policies though, it may be a friend no longer.

The issue at hand is Israel's building of new settlements in Jerusalem.  The Palestinians do not like it, and apparently, neither does Obama, Hillary, or the crew over at the State Department.  They have been putting pressure on the Israelis to stop what they are doing.  Israel is not real happy about that, and has publicly bashed the Obama administration for their stance while continuing to build their settlements.

Now you may wonder why Israel needs to build settlements.  After all, that has been the major issue for decades right?  That is what you always hear on the news....

"Israel is building a new settlement and stealing land from the Palestinians, the Obama administration condemns this inhumane act that is demolishing the international peace process."

Maybe it will clear things up if I reword the news that you hear into the news that you should hear:

"Israel is building a new subdivision in their capitol city.  Illegal immigrants and the Obama administration are angry about it."

Puts it in perspective doesn't it?  If I were Israel, I would have blueprints in one hand while flipping the bird with the other.  Our government is not only overstepping their bounds locally, but they are trying to tell people what to do half way across the world.  Maybe Israel should be the one telling us to stop building in Washington D.C., since three times as many people are murdered per capita there than in Israel.

(UPDATE 3/26: Netanyahu left D.C. "disgraced, isolated and altogether weaker" because of President Barack Obama.)

Where Have All The Foggots Gone?

I was beginning to think I was the lone contributor to Yummy Fog.  I didn't mind, I know people are busy, and some of my fellow Yummy Foggers have started posts... they've had ideas...

It turns out, though, that they have been active.  They've just been giving it away for free all over the internet, and via quality text messages like the one above I received from ScaryGuy.

"From now on, I will call all abortions 'stupaks.'"

Wanna see what else they've been up to?

A healthy reminder of how to make a law.

A Message From Your Leaders

FUCK YOU AMERICA

In his own words...

"This is what change looks like" -President Barack Obama

Ever since the 2008 Presidential election, I was wondering what change would look like.  I didn't imagine it would look like a comically oversized gavel and men holding hands.

ObamaCare, day 371

Today (supposedly) the U.S. House of Representatives is going to vote on the Senate version of Healtch Care Reform.  It is the same legislation the House already rejected once, but now that there are only 59 Democratic Senators, they are having to get more flexible with how bills become laws.

Well, I could hardly sleep last night in anticipation of today's shennanigans.  When I finally fell asleep I had a dream.  In my dream, a guy in a wheelchair is pushed off a super tall ladder with nothing but wooden propellers to help him land safely (see illustration).  Luckily, he survived the trip back down to earth.  So, is this some sort of metaphor... or should I just quit drinking?

A lesson in government spending

C'mon, Census Bureau... you know I don't recycle!

Wow.  The way my mailbox keeps getting loaded up, I was thinking maybe it was my birthday.  But, no, it is just the Census sending me all this junk just to ask me my race 3 different ways.  (For this blog post, Hispanic origins are not races).

They can send me all the shit they want, and ask me in 7 different languages, but they aren't getting my phone number.

UPDATE (3/22/10): I just received another piece of trash I don't intend to recycle!  A piece of mail (postcard) reminding me that Census 2010 keeps sending me mail.  Fantastic.

Health Care for All! What a great idea.

This right is ensured by free, qualified medical care provided by state health institutions; by extension of the network of therapeutic and health-building institutions; by the development and improvement of safety and hygiene in industry; by carrying out broad prophylactic measures; by measures to improve the environment; by special care for the health of the rising generation, including prohibition of child labor, excluding the work done by children as part of the school curriculum; and by developing research to prevent and reduce the incidence of disease and ensure citizens a long and active life.

- Article 42, Constitution of USSR (1977)

I think it should be a right for every American.

- Barack Obama (2008)

A Tale of Two Border Crossings

Did you hear the one about Sarah Palin crossing the border into Canada to get health care?

Prepare to be SHOCKED!

Oh, and the other border crossing story is kinda old news... probably not worth your time to even bother with really.

It's just that there was this other completely irrelevant story about some dude from Canada coming down for a procedure in America.

Anyway, back to the Sarah Palin story; Let's examine the author's writing process first.

Congressman Rev. Cleaver Accidentally Makes An Accurate Comparison

First of all, I find it interesting that Cleaver reveals that the House isn't just one or two votes shy of passing the Senate's health care bill... which was the widely held conventional wisdom. But that he thinks that they may be short by 15 or 16 votes.

He then goes on to liken the Health Care legislation to 'milk' that has 'been left out on the counter for too long' and that it's 'starting to smell'.

Welcome to the Republican Party, Representative Massa (D-NY)

• Political Correctness troubles?- CHECK.
• Thinks Rahm Emanuel is "son of the devil's spawn"?- CHECK.
• Against ObamaCare?- CHECK.
• War veteran?- CHECK.
• Realizes Labor Unions are simply in place for legal political bribery?- CHECK.
• Believes "You cannot effectively govern this country without the consent of the governed"?- CHECK. 

Listen to the full audio of Rep. Eric Massa go down in a blaze of glory on the radio last Sunday.
Or, if you're lazy... just catch a few highlights here.