How To Fuck Up a Sure Thing - by Todd Akin

Hello, voters - Todd Akin here.

Amidst these troubling times of economic downturn, runaway federal spending, crony capitalism run amok and concerns over the impending Obamacare morass.  I'd like to take this time to take a quick 'timeout' regarding those wholly relevant concerns that the voting public is worried about specifically during this election cycle in order to talk about a fringe viewpoint of mine that even a stong majority of Conservative and Libertarians find themselves at odds with.  I'd like to talk about rape.

Not just any old' kind of rape, mind you, but legitimate rape.  I think it's important to add the adjective 'legitimate' to the word 'rape' in order to be more specific.

Oh, my.  You should see my election team waving their hands at me.  They are very animated right now.  Yes, hello election team!  I see you!  Ha ha ha.

Anyways, when a woman gets 'legitimately raped', the woman's body usually knows it and decides not to get pregnant.  It's what some of my doctor friends describe as "Some sort of 'magic'".

Now parts of my election team are trying to pull on power cords.  Some have curled up in the fetal position and one of them is holding up a placard with a hastily written message that simply says, "NO!"

That's right election team, 'No means No.'  Like in a legitimate rape.

So if a woman is pregnant, chances are very good that she wasn't legitimately raped.  Yet dozens of pregnant women every century may attempt to get abortions citing the pregnancy being due to some sort of "rape".  Not on my watch, lady.  I mean, if you were so "raped", then how come you're pregnant?

That sort of situation is every bit as unbelievable as the ridiculous notion that Democrat operatives picked up Republican ballots to vote for me, because they thought my opponent had a better chance at reelection due to my supposed propensity towards saying outlandish shit.

If you'll excuse the pun, that's inconceivable.

My election team is now having to be restrained.  They are a feisty bunch aren't they?

Anyways, back to my point:  It's like the old saying goes, "Women are like parking spaces;  They're all liars and whores."

Thank you and good night.

Why Ryan?

This is why Ryan...

We are not gone.

We are time traveling.  

Hello from the future.

Mid-Term Election Day 2010

Figuratively speaking, of course.

Where we're going... we don't need electricity...

... but we will need plenty of gas.

Car and Driver recently tested and reviewed the production version of the 2011 Chevrolet Volt (the much-heralded electric car Obama will pay you to own).  And, although they had lots of good things to say about it, the kind folks at Investors Business Daily couldn't help but notice some incongruity between the hype and the reality. 

Here are some of the highlights from their article entitled Volt Fraud at Government Motors:

Volt engineers are now admitting that when the vehicle's lithium-ion battery pack runs down and at speeds near or above 70 mph, the Volt's gasoline engine will directly drive the front wheels along with the electric motors. That's not charging the battery — that's driving the car.

I guess when your "all-electric" car requires a gasoline engine to power the wheels, you shouldn't be surprised when you're called a fraud.

We heard GM's then-CEO Fritz Henderson claim the Volt would get 230 miles per gallon in city conditions. Popular Mechanics found the Volt to get about 37.5 mpg in city driving

And 26 mpg on the highway-- I'm sure that was an honest mistake.

This is what happens when government picks winners and losers in the marketplace and tries to run a business. We are not told that we will be dependent on foreign sources like Bolivia for the lithium to be used in these batteries. Nor are we told about the possible dangers to rescuers and occupants in an accident scenario.

The First Amendment: a refresher

Protected Speech

Hate Speech

 

Any questions?

Paper or E. Coli?

Relevant at 6:35

   

We Yummy Foggots love getting together and philosophizing about the ironies of the Enviro-Elitist movement.  Make no mistakes, though, for the most part we are as Pro-Conservation as can be, but where the line is drawn between Conservation (good) and Environmentalism (silly) is fodder for another post entirely.

Nearly as entertaining as the electric car that creates more waste than simply buying a used gas clunker (a future Mountainman Manifesto) is the reusable grocery bag.

Now, it is one thing if some old lady wants to put her bread in her Reader's Digest tote from 1983, but the real problem is the same problem we always have with Enviro-Elitists.  The problem is that them doing it isn't good enough, they want to force others to obey their rules, or face the wrath of guilt illustrated in the above video.

Some cities have even proposed bans and/or taxes on the traditional paper or plastic disposable grocery bags.  I always thought that the paper and plastic grocery bags were reusable... just in different ways.  My old grocery bags are living fruitful second lives as trash bag liners in my bathroom and office, as a lunchbox to work, as a personal rain shield, or as a catch-all for collections of smaller items-- be it beer cans or magic markers.

I always thought the REALLY great thing about paper and plastic (I refuse to call them disposable, because I keep them for later usage) grocery bags is that I don't have to remember to take them to the store with me.

It Is Our Fault....Well, Your Fault

Why do people have to try and ruin everything?  The jackass pictured above is currently trying to get off the hook for murdering his little brother by blaming it on one of the best shows on television, Dexter.  This has happened over and over again in the past.  People blame their acts on video games, movies, music, hell, even the Power Rangers have had their share. 

The problem isn't the shows or the games.  It isn't the portrayal of violence or the glorified aggression.  The problem is society's acceptance of these excuses as valid.  We allow psychologists to make shit up and we accept it as a professional diagnosis when in reality they are just trying to justify their jobs.  Case and point:  ADD isn't real.  It is made up to employ psychologists, to sell medication, and to allow schools to have poor students not counted on standardized tests.  How many young children have razor-sharp focus?  How many adults for that matter?

Until society stands up and says, "Sex addiction? Shut the F&$* up.  Sounds more like self-control un-addiction" we will be stuck in this cycle of being forced to accept lame-o excuses for the most heinous acts.  So, if you see that little ginger pictured above, a child with ADD, or a psychologist, do America a big favor and punch them in the face.  It is a win-win for you, because if you get caught you can just blame this post.

There Oughta Be a Law.

The first 10 seconds are what's important here:

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps - International Trailer - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Nothing against this movie, or this trailer.  In fact, I think the trailers for this movie are really quite nice.  They make me second guess myself for planning on skipping it.

But, let's listen to that line again,

"Someone reminded me I once said, Greed is good! Now it seems it's legal..."

Wait just a second there, you poorly named fictional character-- Greed has never been illegal (by American law).  This is just stupid.

Who writes this stuff?....

... oh yeah.  This guy:

"I'm a jew-hating, communist, propagandizing hack!"

Oops, he... did it again!

Fight Fire With Fire

Florida pastor, Terry Jones, wants everybody to remember the 9th anniversary of the attacks of 9/11 by burning the Quran (or Koran, or whatever).  And, although I can understand his sentiment, I think he is misguided.  But, I don't think he is nearly as misguided as his critics.

The media is collectively exasperated at this heinous plan.  They are frightened of provoking Islamic extremists (although they usually act as if "Radical Islam" doesn't exist).  Even the U.S. Commander in Afghanistan, General David Petraeus, decided to chime in.

“[Images of the burning] would be used by those who wish us ill, to incite violence and to enflame public opinion against us and against our mission here in Afghanistan"

Do you know what I have to say to these people who would like to suspend a man's Constitutional right to Freedom of Speech (not to mention Freedom of Religion) based on the fact that they are fearful it might be too provocative for Muslims around the world?...

A Picture is Worth 1000 Words

Riding a bicycle is never cool. If you don't believe me, just look at the hero of the bike-riding world: an ambiguously gay corporate shill with only one testicle.

That fact aside, one of the U.S. Presidents pictured above looks decidedly more capable on his two-wheeler than the other one.  I'll let you decide which.

(Post-Script: Yes, I do think wrecking your bicycle face-first earns you extra man points.  Because, I'm the judge of such things.)

Guess who's back.

I move to canonize Governor Chris Christie as the 1st Patron Saint of Yummy Fog.

Kicking Off Ramadaan In Style

On August 3rd, 2010, White House Press Secretary (for now) Robert Gibbs was asked about the Obama Administration's stance on the controversial mosque being proposed within rifle-range of Ground Zero.  At that time, Gibbs said

" I’m not from here going to get involved in local decision-making like that."

Aside from being comically ironic, considering the President has involved himself in local decision-making plenty of times so far (like this time... and this time) with astounding effect, it seemed obvious that the White House was going to try to duck-and-cover on this sensitive issue.

That is, it seemed that way until Friday night.

According to the President, people are sensitive to this because they are traumatized by 9/11 (no shit).  But, his implication is that the trauma involved somehow makes the opposition to the location of the mosque unwarranted.

His words, before a group of hungry Muslims, went on to shed light on his reasoning behind this stance.  Well, his reasons beyond that he is an Islamic sympathizer, of course.

"Let me be clear: as a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country".

I don't think anybody disagrees there.  Please continue, Mr. President.

"That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances".

And this is where--after much personal careful deliberation-- I do disagree.  Careful deliberation and the United States Constitution.  This amazing document pretty well covers all the important stuff, and it is very clear on this:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

You see, because New York City has already 100 mosques throughout the city, there is no impediment on Islamic worship.  In fact, nobody is saying that can't build a giant mosque, just that they cannot build a giant mosque THERE.

SuperChristie Will Punch You

This video is from June 6, 2010.  I don't know how I've missed it until today.



This guy was born to lead in this modern age of tumultuous politics.  It is funny to hear that he shys away from the "conservative" tag.  I can see why.

It seems that Governor Christie acts on his convictions based on what is best for his constituency while being less interested in categorizations or media-interpretations.  His thoughts on conservatism are moot, however, because he is definitely doing things the right way-- saying what he means, and doing what he says.

He is a mythical creature come to life-- the effective and decisive politician-of-the-people.

(Click here for a great brief biography of Governor Chris Christie's young political career.)

T.G.Y.F.

A lot has been going on this week... more so than other weeks.  So, let's run down a few of the choicest cuts leading into the weekend:

• The Dems Must Be Shady
  Two old-school Democrat lawmakers, Maxine Waters and Charlie Rangel are both up on ethics charges.  (But their constituents have been dumb enough to elect them this long, I'm guessing it won't effect future elections for either).  Meanwhile, John Kerry tried to hide his new yacht in Rhode Island to avoid taxes in his home state of Massachusetts.
  
  We can only imagine the shit-storm this would kick up if it were a bunch of Republicans behaving so badly, but we all know why it isn't*
  
  
• If You Can't Beat Them...
  Speaking of shady Democrat tactics, this story was harder to find than it should be*. Democrat patsies on the ground (who are surely the lowest forms of life in America today) have taken to petitioning for Tea Party candidates, so as to get a third party on the ballot that will split the Conservative electorate. 
  
  They tried calling the Tea Party small and irrelevant.  Then they tried calling them crazy and white.  Then they tried calling them racist and violent.  And, since none of that has proven true, they will resort to old chicanery.
  
  
• Missouri is Great
  You may not have heard*, but on Tuesday, the citizens of the Show-Me State spoke loudly about the government's new Health Care Law by voting overwhelmingly to
  
  
  

  - Deny the government authority to penalize citizens for refusing to purchase private health insurance or infringe upon the right to offer or accept direct payment for lawful healthcare services?
  - Modify laws regarding the liquidation of certain domestic insurance companies?

  What did White House press secretary Robert Gibbs think this 3 to 1 decision by Missouri voters meant for the country and President Barack Obama's administration?
  
  
  

  "Nothing."
  and also the vote has, "no legal significance" 

  
  
•  Voting Has No Legal SignificanceAs long as judges continue to legislative from the bench, the voices of Americans will continue to be extinguished with the help of the ruling political class and their minions*.  Robert Gibbs and Barack Obama know this.  And the only people who know it better than the two of them, are the 7,000,000 voters who had their votes canceled by 1 gay judge, when he overturned California's Proposition 8.
  
  
• One of YF's Favorite Malcontents
  Christopher Hitchens has cancer.  He wrote about it in Vanity Fair recently, in his own special way.  Arguably the world's most famous atheists, he says he's astonished at the number of people praying for his health.  I guess that is a pretty good illustration of his lack of understanding of Christianity, in my opinion.

*compliant media

A Dangerous Precedent.....Sort of

History has shown, whether right or wrong, that judges in the United States often will use foreign law and decisions to help determine their opinion in cases.  There are the more famous cases for which it applies like the Supreme Court case Roper v. Simmons where international opinion played a huge part in the decision on the death penalty for juveniles.  Then, there are the less famous decisions....such as whether or not to allow prosecution of a case or just to throw it out of court.  These decisions are often overlooked when analyzing the US Justice system, but for those involved it makes a huge difference.

The reason I bring this up is because a man was recently convicted of rape in Israel for a consensual encounter. See, what happened was this guy (who was an Arab) told some chick (who was a Jew) that he was Jewish.  So, they went to some building nearby and, uh, banged out their differences.  Apparently though, the lady was none too happy when she found out the guy was not Jewish.  She then pressed rape charges and the man was eventually convicted, even though the judge and jury believed the sexual encounter to be completely consensual.  The charge was "Rape by Deception" and he will serve 18 months in prison. Apparently, the decision was based on the fact that the judges "acknowledged that sex had been consensual but said that although not "a classical rape by force," the woman would not have consented if she had not believed Kashur was Jewish".  Luckily for the guy, the initial charge of "rape and indecent assault" was dropped in a sort of plea deal.

So, there it is.  A man was convicted of rape because he had consensual sex.  This precedent, if it ever shows it's face in the United States, will have a profound effect on millions of young men.  If lying about your religion can get you put in jail, how about lying about your age?  Your income?  Your living at home with your parents?  What if you tell her that you have a "A Doctorate in Awesomeness", but you fail to get in her pants...is that attempted rape? 

Ideally the Justice system in the United States would stop seeking guidance from other nations when it comes to applying our law, but as long as they do it is our responsibility to inject our opinion of foreign decisions since it may soon apply to us. 

Next time some stinky foreigner asks why Americans butt into their country's business, look at them with an endearing smile and tell them, "Well dipshit, it is because we apparently care about your opinion."

It's not a complaint as much as an observation...

2000-2008

2008-2010

It isn't asking too much when you are simply asking for more than just Fred Armisen, is it?

Kagan Exercise

The confirmation hearings for Elena Kagan began today.  The Democrats have enough votes to confirm her to the Supreme Court, but the hearings will go on as a formality.

Last April, I pointed out that President Barack Obama voted against both of President Bush's Supreme Court nominations as a Senator (Alito and Roberts... who were both confirmed, of course).

As Rush Limbaugh lovingly reminded his audience today, Barack Obama in 2008 also said he would've voted against confirming Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court.  Based on what?-- lack of experience, of course:



So, I thought a quick comparison of 2 resumes would prove informative...