How To Fuck Up a Sure Thing - by Todd Akin

Hello, voters - Todd Akin here.

Amidst these troubling times of economic downturn, runaway federal spending, crony capitalism run amok and concerns over the impending Obamacare morass.  I'd like to take this time to take a quick 'timeout' regarding those wholly relevant concerns that the voting public is worried about specifically during this election cycle in order to talk about a fringe viewpoint of mine that even a stong majority of Conservative and Libertarians find themselves at odds with.  I'd like to talk about rape.

Not just any old' kind of rape, mind you, but legitimate rape.  I think it's important to add the adjective 'legitimate' to the word 'rape' in order to be more specific.

Oh, my.  You should see my election team waving their hands at me.  They are very animated right now.  Yes, hello election team!  I see you!  Ha ha ha.

Anyways, when a woman gets 'legitimately raped', the woman's body usually knows it and decides not to get pregnant.  It's what some of my doctor friends describe as "Some sort of 'magic'".

Now parts of my election team are trying to pull on power cords.  Some have curled up in the fetal position and one of them is holding up a placard with a hastily written message that simply says, "NO!"

That's right election team, 'No means No.'  Like in a legitimate rape.

So if a woman is pregnant, chances are very good that she wasn't legitimately raped.  Yet dozens of pregnant women every century may attempt to get abortions citing the pregnancy being due to some sort of "rape".  Not on my watch, lady.  I mean, if you were so "raped", then how come you're pregnant?

That sort of situation is every bit as unbelievable as the ridiculous notion that Democrat operatives picked up Republican ballots to vote for me, because they thought my opponent had a better chance at reelection due to my supposed propensity towards saying outlandish shit.

If you'll excuse the pun, that's inconceivable.

My election team is now having to be restrained.  They are a feisty bunch aren't they?

Anyways, back to my point:  It's like the old saying goes, "Women are like parking spaces;  They're all liars and whores."

Thank you and good night.

Why Ryan?

This is why Ryan...

We are not gone.

We are time traveling.  

Hello from the future.

Mid-Term Election Day 2010

Figuratively speaking, of course.

Where we're going... we don't need electricity...

... but we will need plenty of gas.

Car and Driver recently tested and reviewed the production version of the 2011 Chevrolet Volt (the much-heralded electric car Obama will pay you to own).  And, although they had lots of good things to say about it, the kind folks at Investors Business Daily couldn't help but notice some incongruity between the hype and the reality. 

Here are some of the highlights from their article entitled Volt Fraud at Government Motors:

Volt engineers are now admitting that when the vehicle's lithium-ion battery pack runs down and at speeds near or above 70 mph, the Volt's gasoline engine will directly drive the front wheels along with the electric motors. That's not charging the battery — that's driving the car.

I guess when your "all-electric" car requires a gasoline engine to power the wheels, you shouldn't be surprised when you're called a fraud.

We heard GM's then-CEO Fritz Henderson claim the Volt would get 230 miles per gallon in city conditions. Popular Mechanics found the Volt to get about 37.5 mpg in city driving

And 26 mpg on the highway-- I'm sure that was an honest mistake.

This is what happens when government picks winners and losers in the marketplace and tries to run a business. We are not told that we will be dependent on foreign sources like Bolivia for the lithium to be used in these batteries. Nor are we told about the possible dangers to rescuers and occupants in an accident scenario.